‘Waking Up Alone: Navigating the Narrow Passage Through Master-Slave Narratives’ by Nicole Wordlaw
In this unflinching and vulnerable book, psychologist Nicole Wordlaw exposes the impact of intergenerational trauma and internalized race and gender narratives, through the lens of a Black woman seeking spiritual freedom on her own terms.
Waking Up Alone is part memoir, part map: a vulnerable, fiercely honest exploration of what it means to awaken as a Black woman in a world built on master-slave narratives, gender roles, and spiritual illusions.
Clinical psychologist Dr. Nicole Wordlaw—Stanford and Berkeley-trained, longtime Buddhist practitioner, daughter of a Black father and white mother, and former partner of a well-respected spiritual teacher—traces her journey from a little girl seeking love through obedience, to a woman unraveling the cultural myths that shaped her. Through the lenses of race, womanhood, and power, she reveals how systems of domination live not only in institutions but inside our most intimate relationships, and in the stories we’re taught to believe about ourselves.
Eerily prescient in the era of the Epstein files, the book chronicles the author's relationship with a prominent male spiritual teacher—its highs, shadow side, and entanglements—and how the author ultimately finds her own path to awakening.
Waking Up Alone invites readers to recognize the cages they’ve inherited, question the roles they’ve been taught to play, and listen for freedom’s quiet song within. This is a book for anyone ready to unlearn, to awaken, and to remember who they were before the world told them who to be.
Praise for Waking Up Alone:
“With a truth-telling flame, Dr. Nicole Wordlaw illuminates the wounds of racism, power, and generational trauma, guiding us toward the liberation that arises through loving presence. Her storytelling is lyrical, unflinching, powerful, and deeply wise. This book calls us to a shared courage—to face what we inherit and, together, to rediscover the deep belonging that frees the heart.” —Tara Brach, Author of Radical Acceptance
“In Waking Up Alone, Dr. Nicole Wordlaw fearlessly illuminates how the master-slave dynamics that shaped our nation continue to echo through our most intimate relationships and spiritual communities. With the precision of a clinical psychologist and the vulnerability of a true seeker, Dr. Wordlaw reveals how systems of domination live not only in our institutions but inside our own minds. What makes this work extraordinary is Wordlaw's recognition that true liberation requires us to discover the teacher within—to stop seeking freedom through external authorities and instead listen to the wisdom that emerges when we dare to wake up alone. She shows us that love, not judgment, is the key that unlocks the cages we've inherited and taught ourselves to maintain. This is essential reading for anyone who enjoys a good read and is ready to examine the stories they've inherited and discover who they truly are beneath the layers of collective conditioning.” ―Loch Kelly, M.Div, LCSW, author of The Way of Effortless Mindfulness
“Nicole Wordlaw is a veteran psychologist, the former partner of a well-known spiritual teacher, and the daughter of a Black father and a white mother. In Waking Up Alone, she tells multiple interlocking stories—some from her own life, some from the mouths of our ancestors—each one gripping, instructive, and, ultimately, wise and inspiring. Her book investigates how the same basic narrative—the master/slave narrative—forms the foundation of white-body supremacy, patriarchy, and many student/teacher (and guru/disciple) relationships. This deeply important and brilliantly written book dovetails profoundly with the core insights of Somatic Abolitionism.” —Resmaa Menakem, author of the New York Times bestseller My Grandmother’s Hands
“In Waking Up Alone, Nicole Wordlaw lays bare 5 master/slave narratives through heart-breaking personal reflection. Wordlaw’s exquisite storytelling and brilliant analysis illuminate these deeply internalized narratives in ways that allow her readers to recognize their own embodiment of them, whether relating as “slave” or “master.” In so doing, she uncovers a way forward for her readers as well.” —Robin DiAngelo, Ph.D., author of White Fragility and Nice Racism
“In Waking Up Alone, Nicole Wordlaw offers a courageous and intimate reckoning with how the master-slave narrative lives in our bodies, our spiritual communities, and our most tender relationships. With emotional honesty and profound care, she speaks diffi cult truths about race, power, patriarchy, and student-teacher dynamics while continually returning us to Presence—to the deep stillness and love that can cradle even our heaviest sorrow. She guides us toward healing inherited patterns and embodying a freedom beyond domination and submission. A brave, wise, and necessary offering for our time.” —Kaira Jewel Lingo, Buddhist teacher, author of We Were Made for These Times, co-author of Healing Our Way Home
About the Author:
Dr. Nicole Wordlaw is a clinical psychologist and longtime practitioner of Buddhist meditation whose work bridges psychology, spirituality, and identity. The daughter of a white mother and a Black father, Dr. Wordlaw brings a deeply personal understanding of belonging and self-discovery to her writing and teaching. A Stanford University graduate with honors and distinction, she went on to earn her Ph.D. in clinical psychology from UC Berkeley. In her book Waking Up Alone, she vulnerably shares her story of trauma and awakening, and offers gentle guidance for her readers to tune into the quiet voice of truth within.
Connect with Nicole on Substack, Instagram, and Goodreads.
To learn more, visit https://www.nicolewordlaw.com